Christmas Card Time!

I'm so excited about our Christmas card this year! We had some great Santa pictures made by the fabulous Debi Gomez at Life's Images and was able to turn them into beautiful cards at Shutterfly! So easy and I am SOOO anxious to get them in the mail!

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.

4 months

I'm sitting here after I just laid you down for a nap thinking how fast you are growing up.   Every day brings a change, sometimes a small one, sometimes a major one, but a change.   You went from a totally dependent newborn to a feisty "big girl" in the blink of an eye.   I'm trying to make sure I enjoy each moment because they will be the only "baby moments" that I ever get to experience.   I feel so lucky and SO happy that things finally worked out for daddy and I to have you.   You have no idea how much pain and suffering we endured for the ultimate payoff, you.  While our hearts will always have hole left unfilled by your brother's passing, you have brought joy back into our lives.

I love watching your dad smile again.  Not just a smile that only passes his lips, but the one that puts a twinkle in his eye.   I missed seeing him happy.  You are a pretty lucky little lady to have such an amazing daddy.   He loves you so much that I've seen tears in his eyes when he's worked late and missed seeing you.   I know it's difficult for him to leave us and go to work, but he provides for us and his hard work means you get a parent home with you.   I love being here to watch you grow.  I can't  begin to imagine missing out on any milestones.  Your brother was never able to hit any of his, so I treasure every one of yours, be it a minor or major one.   I love you my little pumpkin.

Well, good intentions and all that...

I really wanted to blog more about Laila here but I find myself so busy that I'm heading to bed during my more reflective times of the day.  This week she turned two months old.  I can't believe how fast time is passing.   We've had some ups and downs, but she's a pretty amazing little girl.  We started a new reflux medicine this week since the first one almost seemed to add more problems.   Our doctor wanted us to keep her on the first one and add the second one, but we decided that her case wasn't severe enough for both.  I hate to second guess doctors, but in truth they are only with our little ones for a short time and we parents do know them better.   I feel good with our decision as she's been better the past few days.   The new medicine tastes better so there's no morning and night bouts of crying and trying to spit it out like before.   I hope things continue to improve and she outgrows this issue.

Smiles...  Oh man is she smiling.   It just melts my heart when her whole face lights up with a big smile.  There's really nothing that could make me as happy as that.  It's funny how you can be frustrated and feeling like you are at the end of your rope and that one little smile makes you forget all that.   Itsy Bitsy Spider seems to get her smiling every time and it is my favorite to sing to her.  

I need to head to bed as tomorrow starts another 3 days of almost single parenting for me.  I sure do miss Jason on the days that he works.   He is great though and always takes her to give me a break once he gets home.   He's such a great dad and husband.   I love seeing him so happy again.   He loves our girl SO much and you can see it every time he's holding her.

I'll leave you with a few pictures to enjoy just in case you haven't seen them on Facebook or my stamping blog.  :)

1 Month Pictures

Man!  I had big plans of posting a lot on here but I guess I didn't take into account how busy she'd keep us! This last week or so has been tough as she's been very fussy and not wanting to sleep very well.   I'm not sure if it is normal baby stuff or if we are looking at something like reflux, but she's definitely been a challenge!  It's a good thing they make them so cute so that you forget about how grumpy they are and how exhausted YOU are!  lol

I wanted to share some of the images from her first month pictures.   She actually goes next week for another photo shoot, but that one will be for the Hope Calendar.   I'm excited that she gets to be in it; I'm sure our families will need lots of those calendars.  :)

Isn't she adorable?   I just love her.   It's been a bit bittersweet this week as Eli's birthday was yesterday.  It's always such a hard day, week, and sometimes month for me.  I'm very thankful that we have a little girl to brighten our days now, but I'll always miss him.   He would have been 4 which I find unbelievable.   Laila is already moving so much more than he ever did and we are just amazed with all that she can do.   She's getting some great head control and is so strong!   I can't believe how long she is too.   She has her 2 month appointment later this month and I just can't wait to see how much she's grown.   She's up in the 94th percentile for height right now I think?   Crazy!   

Our New Life

It has taken almost 4 years, but we are finally parents again.   I wanted to start a new blog to escape all the sadness and anger that was present on my old one.    We will miss Eli forever but are also thankful to have a healthy baby girl to enjoy.   Laila has brought a lot of joy...and much less sleep...to our lives and I hope to share her with our family and friends through this blog.

Here we are so happy to finally meet our little one.  Tears came to my eyes as soon as I heard her LOUD STRONG cry.   I knew it was going to be okay this time.   I admit that through the whole pregnancy I was worried that the tests were wrong, that we would be burying another child because of SMA.  Going through that experience really changes you and after that and a miscarriage too, I had almost given up on having a healthy child to enjoy.   Thankfully I had a good friend who cheered me on and kept me going.   I'll always be thankful for her love and encouragement; she gave me the courage to overcome my fears of SMA and not let it destroy our chance for happiness.  

Just beautiful.   We couldn't get over how amazing she was from day one.   I know that they really just eat, sleep, and poop, but she did more than that.  She MOVED...and a lot too!  She hasn't stopped moving either.   We did have a few worries in the hospital and tests run to make sure she was okay.   She's already had to have two echocardiograms, but the last one came back normal and the heart murmur she was being monitored for is nothing to worry about.   I won't lie, I freaked out over that.  I had a day where I cried and ran out of the house almost screaming.  I thought my joy was being threatened, but thankfully things are fine.   I'm trying not to be the crazy mom who freaks out over everything, but it is hard.  Very hard.   

Today she is a month old.  I don't know where the time has gone, but it has flown by for sure.   The nights are exhausting, but we seem to forget all about that with each new little thing that she does.   There have been up and downs for me already, but I hope/think I've avoided the postpartum depression that plagued me with Eli.   Not being able to exclusively breastfeed her has been disappointing, but I know in the big scheme of life, that's pretty minor.   We've had to deal with real issues in the past and as long as she's being fed and growing, it's all good.   We still get to bond over nursing, but Jason is able to help out too and I'm not terrified of taking her out now.   At her appointment on Wednesday she was weighing in at 9 pounds 14 ounces and was 22.5 inches long.   She's growing and I take comfort in that.